Better or Better?

Lately I have been sleeping at least 10 hours when I am not up at the clinic doing births.  Why am I so tired?  What could be using my energy?  Certainly, I do more at home in America than here.  I have help with the kids.  A wonderful woman helps me clean and do laundry (by hand). I realized last night at 8pm when I couldn’t keep my eyes open that it is all the little differences here that take up energy.  I have yet to establish much of a routine here.  The things at home a no brainer like going to the store or cooking takes quite a bit of effort here.  I could probably do my shopping blind folded.  Here I find myself in isles or at an open air market just staring. 

What is this.  Powdered dolphin? Dolphin food? Maybe we need it???

Milk options....

How many mangos can we eat before they go bad.  Are these any good?  What the heck is that?  What time does the shop close where we by our drinking water? (Everyone here buys drinking water at little shops because the tap water is not drinkable.  It is not poisonous.  You can wash clothes, dished, yourself and brush teeth but for cooking and drinking you must buy it.)  We also have to keep an eye on the gas for cooking.  Of course, language is challenging but it is partly a relief to sit in a room and not understand the chatter.  But in order to communicate more than a simple idea, I have to really think about what words from my limited vocabulary will work.  So at the end of the day I am tired.  Not stressed or exhausted or freaked out just a good healthy tired.  I sleep like a log.  I wake up early with the neighbors, roosters and dogs. 

I wake up and gaze at the yard with yellow flowers while sipping tea

I hear a lot of expats and tourist talk about how the Balinese are different or how they do things differently.  This is often said with a bit of a “can you believe it laugh”.  For example, butter knives just don’t exist here.  When James finally tracked them down he was shocked how much they cost.  (So for now we make do with 2 knives).  Some expats were all laughing at this lack of knives but not asking why there might be a shortage.  The Balinese don’t eat butter or bread so why should they have knives.  They aren’t really into silver wear at all and frankly I agree it’s really just something else to wash. This means you have to make food you can eat with you hands.  My children can eat most meals with their hands so maybe it’s just a small adjustment of expectation and attitude for western adults.  People come to Bali for it’s beauty and culture and wonderful living but then complain and mock about the very things or lack of things that make it exactly what they were seeking in the first place.  I hear about “the compounds with all the people” or “how everyone has the same name” or “they don’t seem to get time” or “they can’t even explain this ceremony.”  But I ask you to explain sub divisions, nuclear families, Walmart or Christmas to a Balinese person.

Our friend Eka and family at a ceremony

The Balinese are far too polite and reserved to let us know what they think of our culture, customs and “neeeeeeds” (to be said with a nasally whine).  Although I have seen a few good impressions of Australians!  I do wish I could understand the conversations they have about us over lunch.  I only understand a bit of Indonesian and they speak Balinese at the table to my chances are slim.  But here is an excerpt from “Shantaram” by Gregory Roberts a book I am re-reading here.  In this scene he is recounting the conversation had over and over in a Indian Village about him between 2 locals. 

I think there are similar conversations here:

What’s he doing here?

He is visiting my family

Where’s he from?

New Zealand.  In Europe

Plenty of money in New Zealand?

Yes, yes. Plenty.  They’re all rich, white people there.

Does he speak Marathi?

No.

Hindi?

No. Only English.

Only English?

Yes.

Why?

They don’t speak Hindi in his country.

They don’t speak Hindi there?

No.

No Marathi? No Hindi?

No. Only English.

Holy Father. The poor fool.

Yes

How old is he?

Thirty.

He looks older.

They all do.  All the Europeans look older and angrier than they really are.  It’s a white thing.

Is he married.

No

Thirty and not married? What’s wrong with him?

He is European. A lot of them get married only when they’re old.

That’s crazy.

Yes

Does he have a mother and a father?

Yes

Where are they?

In his native place.  New Zealand.

Why isn’t he with them?

He’s traveling. He’s looking at the whole world.

Why?

Europeans do that.  They work for a while and then the travel around lonely for a while with no family until they get old and then they get married and become very serious.

That’s crazy.

Yes.

He must be lonely without his mummy and his daddy and with no wife and children.

Yes but this Europeans don’t mind. They get a lot of practice being lonely.

… (in parting)

And don’t let anyone take advantage of him.  He doesn’t look too bright.  Keep an eye on him.

He is brighter than he looks but yes I will look after him


Hahaaaaa haha hahahaha ha

I love this passage.  When I reflect on what the Balinese probably think of us it would be similar.  Lonely rich white people who are terrible cooks, don’t touch their children enough, don’t smile enough, refuse perfectly good food, spend lots of time worrying and stressing, are obsessed with exercise and on and on.  It’s pretty funny actually. 

Ibu Robin at ceremony with volunteers

Both Bali and the West have their cultures.  Glorifying one culture over another doesn’t get us anywhere towards better understanding.   I hear people talking about cultural exchange and sharing ways of being as a way to support change.  Hmmmm, this tends to come with an agenda of which direction change should go and an end goal rather than a natural progression- think Army Corps of Engineers!   Currently I don’t have a proposal of cultural fusion other than living here spending time with Balinese.  

Vaughn as Barong! Scaring evil spirits.

Gekko got the dragon fly.  Evening entertainment. No internet at home!